Not Exactly Royalty
by liqouricewhip
Summary: With Vanellope bed ridden, and unable to run the kingdom, it is up to Josh. Were talking about the guy, that grew up never using a fork or spoon, the guy that eats pies with his hands. What is Sour Bill thinking? Has he lost it? Does he believe that Josh could be a great leader? No. Josh is just the only one able to rule "legally". Join Josh in his attempt to replicate Vanellope.


Vanellope lied silently in bed, looking like she was on deaths bed. Her nose overflowed, with a seemingly never ending supply of dark green mucus, her eyes were puffy, red, her temperature so high, you'd think you would be able to bake cookies on her forehead. Josh sat next to her, holding one of her clammy hands, fidgeting every couple seconds. He looked at the grandfather clock at the side of the room. "Where the heck are they?" He asked. He looked down at Vanellope. Her eyes opened slowly. Josh grabbed her other hand as well.

"Finally. Are you okay?" He asked her. Vanellope slowly took in a deep breath. Then tried sitting up, she screw her eyes shut. Then lied back down.

"I'm...I...Feel horrible." She said, muffled slightly by the mucus. She began having a coughing attack, but it quickly stopped. Josh sighed. He let go of her other hand, and let her rest some more. After a couple minutes of fidgeting, and clock gazing Josh decided to go look for the others. He slid off the bed, Vanellope's grip tightened on his hand. Making him look at her. She shook her head slowly. Josh bit his lip. His gaze floated to the door, then back at Vanellope. He started hopping gently, opening his mouth, and closing it just as quickly, he forced himself to sit back on the bed next to her.

Just as he did the door opened. Josh watched as a couple doctors carrying several machines, Calhoun, Felix, and finally Ralph entered the room. The doctors surrounded the bed, setting up the machines. Josh looked around at the doctors, his eyes shot to Calhoun. One of the doctors asked Josh to move. Josh shook his head rapidly. Calhoun rolled her eyes, and walked over. She picked Josh up, brought him over to Ralph, and forced him to sit on the salmon pink couch, between Ralph and Felix. Josh instantly tried to jump off, but his path got blocked by one of Ralph's giant hands. Josh crossed his arms, and scowled at Ralph.

Ralph gently pushed Josh back onto the couch, making him sit down again. It felt like an eternity of waiting. With Ralph's giant hand in the way, Josh couldn't see what the doctors were doing to Vanellope, but even so, Josh knew they were helping. Which calmed him a little. Josh had quickly grown bored though. He grabed Ralph's hand, and looked it over, then he looked at his hand. He looked up at Ralph confused.

"Why are your fingers square?" Josh asked. Ralph looked down at him, now confused as well.

"What do you mean?" He asked. Josh held his hand up to Ralph, and flexed his fingers.

"I mean, I have four fingers, and my thumb. And they aren't square." Josh said.

"Yeah. So?" Josh didn't respond, and kept flexing his fingers.

"Would you stop that." Ralph said, becoming annoyed. Josh got a large grin across his face.

"I mean, Vanellope only has three fingers, and her thumb, but at least they aren't square." Josh said, lifting his other hand up, and flexing those fingers as well. Ralph shook his head, then went back to watching the doctors.

He kept his hand in front of Josh still, though. Josh didn't say anything for a while, which made Ralph wonder what he was doing. Ralph looked back at Josh. He glared at Josh, who was still flexing his fingers, Ralph breathed heavily out of his nose, then looked back at the doctors. After another couple minutes of nothing but beeping from the machines, and whispers among the doctors, Ralph risked another glance at Josh.

He immediately regret it. Josh had now lifted his hands as high as he could manage, on the tip of his toes, towards Ralph's head. Still flexing his fingers, Josh raised an eyebrow.

"Jelly of my normality?" Josh asked. Ralph shook his head. "Are you sure? You look jelly. Actually by the looks of it you might want to lay off the jelly." Josh said, lowering his hands, and patting Ralph on the stomach. Ralph jumped to his feet.

"Would you shut up!" Ralph yelled. Josh waves his arms in the air and fakes a scared face.

"Watch out! Its the incredible dolt!" Josh yelled. Ralph picked him up, raised his fist, and got ready to punch Josh. His eyes shot over to Vanellope, who had now been put under. Ralph looked back at Josh, then dropped him. Josh dusted himself off, and walked over to the bed. He waved at Calhoun. She glared at him.

"What was that all about?" She asks, clearly angry. Josh grins.

"He wouldn't lower his hand. I had to get past somehow." Josh said, satisfied with his simply complex plan. Calhoun shook her head. Josh tugged on one of the doctors lab coat.

"What is it kid?" The doctor asked, still focused on the machinery.

"Do you know what's wrong with her?" Josh asked. The doctor shook his head.

"Not yet. Soon though." Josh was about to ask another question, when Sour Bill walked in to the room.

"Is she able to walk?" Bill asked. The doctor Josh had just talked to shook his head.

"She's in no condition to be going anywhere." The doctor said. Bill sighed. Josh jumped over the bed, and walked over to Bill.

"Why, do you need her?" Josh asked.

"She was to attend a banquet, honoring princess Peach. It is her birthday." Bill said. Josh tilted his head. Bill could tell Josh was confused, so he continued. "Being royalty, the princess is usually invited to other princess events, and vice versa." Bill said. Josh looks over at Vanellope.

"Too bad she's sick. Have you ever just gone by yourself?" Josh asks. Bill shakes his head.

"I am not royalty." Bill said. Bill looked up at Josh. "But you, on the other hand Butterscotch. You are." Bill said. Josh looked back at Bill, and shook his head.

"Me? No! I'm not royalty." Josh said, waving his hands in front of him. Bill nodded his head.

"You and the princess. You are the prince, to her princess."

"I'm no prince...Vanellope said I'm the vice president."

"Regardless of what title you have been given, everyone else sees you as a prince." Bill said.

"Yeah. So? What do you expect me to do?" Josh asked. Bill began circling Josh.

"With the princess sick. You prince Butterscotch. Are the only one that can fill in for her."

"Cant you fill in for her?" Josh asked, knowing about the stuff Vanellope had to do as a princess. From boring banquets, to boring balls. Bill shook his head.

"Alas I would, but I am not royalty. They expect a princess or prince."

Josh looked back at Vanellope. His shoulders dropped.

"How long will this be for?" Josh asked.

"Just until the princess is fully recovered." Bill said. Josh rubbed the back of his head, and sighed.

"Fine. I'll do it." Josh said, defeated. Bill nodded in approval.

"Very excellent. Please follow me." Bill exited the room. Josh stayed back for a moment.

"Call me as soon as Vanellope is recovered." Josh said, tapping the wrist mount he got from hero's duty.

"Will do." Calhoun said. Josh saluted her, then followed Bill down the hall.

"First, we must get you a new outfit." Bill said. Josh looked down at his own clothes, then at Bill.

"What's wrong with my current outfit?"

"People expect royal. Not racer."

"What's wrong with racer? Or are you just jealous because you can't reach the pedals?" Josh asked, already regretting his decision.

"We will work on presentation after your highness."

"Presentation? What about my presentation?" Bill remained silent, as they walked down the hall. Josh shook his head, and shoved his hands in his pocket. Bill led Josh down the stairs, through more hallways, and finally through a door. Josh looked around the room.

A large assortment of dresses, shoes and tiaras lined the walls neatly. The dresses seemed to be arranged by length. While the shoes and tiaras seem to be color coded, set up below, and above the dresses. Josh crossed his arms.

"I know I agreed to be your prince, but there is no way I am wearing a dress." Bill sighed.

"You will not be wearing a dress. The seamstress will be making you an outfit." Josh threw his arms to his side, and let out a large sigh.

"That's a relief. So. What will kinda outfit will she be making me?"

"What ever she thinks suits you best." Bill said.

Bill reached for a thin rope dangling from the ceiling, and pulled it. A bell rang a couple of times. After a minute, a lady walked in, with a measuring tape around her neck, and an already strung needle in her hands. She towered above Josh, nearly as tall as Calhoun. Josh couldn't help but notice her short, curly neon pink hair. He liked colored hair.

"What will I being doing for you today?" She asked cheerfully.

"The prince needs an outfit for princess Peach's banquet." Bill said.

"Ooo. I've never worked on a prince before." She said kneeling down next to Josh. She grabbed his chin, and turned his head side to side, examining his face.

"He will need it soon. The party is tomorrow." Bill said. The lady nodded. Bill turned and headed for the door.

"Are you just leaving me here?" Josh asked.

"I will not be gone long. I am just going to get a crown for you." Bill said, already fed up with Josh.

"Okay. Well nothing too fancy, or heavy." Josh said. Bill nodded, and exited the room. The lady wrapped the measuring tape around Josh's waist. She placed her thumb on the spot where the two ends met, then brought it up to her face. She nodded in approval.

"Alrighty! I think I have the perfect look for you!" She said, happily. Josh gave her thumbs up, then went back to looking at all of the dresses and tiaras. The lady entered the back room, and got to work on Josh's new outfit.

Josh stood in front of the mirror, with the best fake smile he could manage. He span around. The lady clapped with joy. She was satisfied with her work, Josh has no choice but to appear pleased. He pulled at his mint green robe, that reach his thighs, the only piece of clothing he liked out his new outfit. If you were to open the robe, you would have seen, a puffy white dress shirt, with ruffles lining the bottom of the sleeves, this shirt drove Josh crazy, it made him want to scratch his entire torso. Covering this shirt, was a green and brown vest, that went down to his waist. His pants weren't as bad, they still were not good. Well he didn't consider them good. They were skin tight caramel brown pants, with purple lines going down the sides. Where he was supposed to hide a knife or pistol in there, he did not know.

"One last thing." The lady says.

She pulled a box out from behind her, then handed it to Josh. He took it, opened it. His eyes shot open. He instantly dropped the box, crossed his arms, and shook his head rapidly.

"No. No. I am not wearing those." He said.

"Why not? They'll look fabulous on you." She took the chocolate brown pointed end shoes out of the box, and handed them to Josh. He reluctantly took them. He held them in front of her face.

"These are old man shoes!" Josh said, with obvious hysteria.

"Oh so what? People expect this kind of attire with a prince." Josh shook his head.

"No. I'm sticking with my sneakers." Josh said. The lady rolled her eyes.

"Okay. Have it your way. But you at least have to wear this." She said, pulling a candy cane bow tie out of her pocket. He opened his robe, and sloppily tied it around his neck. The lady shook her head, then fixed it for him. He looked into the mirror again.

"Not bad. I guess." He said.  
"Your'e welcome!" The lady said.

"Oh right. Thanks. I never did get your name." Josh said.  
"Cinnamon." She said.

"Well. Thank you Cinnamon." She bowed, and exited the room. Josh jumped off the pedestal he was standing on, and headed for the door.

He ran into Bill just outside.

"Excellent. You have a new attire."

"I guess. Not exactly something I would normally wear."

"You wouldn't normally wear this. It is a banquet. A formal banquet." Bill said. Josh nodded his head.

"Okay. So. You said you wanted to work on my 'presentation'" Bill nodded. He walked down the hallway, and gestured for Josh to follow, which he does.

* * *

A/N I just had some editing to do. From present to past tense. Also had to figure out what, I was going to do with Vanellope. It is all (well mostly) figured out. Hope you liked it!


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